How to Protect Your Energy from Energy Vampires: 4 Simple Tools That Actually Work

Let’s talk about something we all deal with… even if we don’t call it by name: energy vampires.

So what is an energy vampire?

It’s someone who—usually without even realizing it—drains your energy when you’re around them. It could be the friend who’s always negative, the coworker who constantly complains, or the family member who blows up easily and takes it out on you. Sometimes these are people we choose to be around… and sometimes they’re people our life naturally puts in front of us.

And because everything is energy, you feel it. Think about walking into a room where two people just had a fight. You can feel it instantly—thick, heavy, like you could cut it with a knife. That’s how powerful energy is.

Today’s blog is all about how to protect yours.
But first, let’s talk about how to know when your energy is being drained.

How to Know Your Energy Is Being Drained

Your body and emotions give you clues. Here are the most common ones:

1. You feel heavy or tired

Even after resting, you feel like you’re running on empty. Tasks that normally feel simple suddenly feel like a chore. This is your body saying, “Hey… something’s off.”

2. Mood shifts

Out of nowhere, you’re irritable, sad, anxious, or buzzing inside. For me, I call it “the buzz”—when my nervous system feels like it’s racing, even though nothing major happened.

3. Physical tension

Your shoulders, jaw, or stomach tighten. Your body starts holding the stress for you.

4. Overthinking or self-doubt

You replay conversations again and again:
Why did they say that? Did I do something wrong? Should I have handled it differently?
This is a sign that your energy was drained and your system is trying to make sense of it.

These signals matter—because the faster you notice them, the faster you can protect your peace… especially when your kids, coworkers, partner, or family members push your buttons (because let’s be honest… they will).

The Old Belief: “Self-Care Is Selfish”

For so many of us, that message was ingrained early: be nice, be quiet, don’t rock the boat. Keep the peace — even if it costs you your own.

Why Protecting Your Energy Matters

Your energy is your most valuable resource.
And as Taylor Swift says, not everyone can afford the luxury of your energy.
She is absolutely right.

Here’s why protecting your energy is so important:

1. You show up as your best self

When your energy is protected, you're more patient, present, and clear. You respond instead of react. You enjoy the moment more fully.

This aligns beautifully with Michelle Chalfant’s Adult Chair Model — when we’re in our Adult, we’re present, grounded, and able to stay connected to the truth.

2. You stop carrying what isn’t yours

Most of us walk around holding a giant emotional “cement suitcase” that doesn’t even belong to us. We take on other people’s moods, reactions, and problems.

Protecting your energy helps you put that suitcase down.

3. You prevent burnout before it starts

When you constantly give without refilling your own tank, exhaustion and resentment sneak in. If resentment is showing up, that’s your cue.

4. You make clearer decisions

When you’re drained, your nervous system goes into fight-or-flight. Your prefrontal cortex (your clear-thinking brain) goes offline. When your energy is protected, you can actually hear your own inner voice and make choices that feel aligned.

5. Your health improves

Your nervous system affects everything—your mood, sleep, digestion, hormones, and stress levels. Protecting your energy supports your overall well-being.

Four Simple Tools to Protect Your Energy

These are tools I use daily and teach inside my coaching work because they are simple, accessible, and incredibly powerful.

1. Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” Theory

This one is a game-changer.

Step 1: Notice the urge to control

When someone’s tone, behavior, or choices trigger you, ask:
Am I trying to fix, change, or convince them?

Trying to control others drains your energy fast.

Step 2: Say “Let Them”

Let them be late.
Let them have their opinion.
Let them do it their way.

Their behavior is not your responsibility.

Step 3: Then shift to “Let Me…”

Let me focus on what I can control — my thoughts, my emotions, my choices.
Ask yourself:
What’s one empowered thing I can do right now that IS mine to manage?

Step 4: Release the outcome

Releasing the outcome doesn’t mean you don’t care.
It means you’re choosing your own peace over trying to manage someone else’s life.

2. The 4-2-6 Breath

Breathe in for 4.
Pause for 2.
Exhale for 6.

Elongating the exhale sends a message to your body:
You’re safe. You can soften now.

Do this for 4–5 rounds.
It’s simple and incredibly regulating.

3. Get into nature

Nature is one of the quickest ways to ground your nervous system.

Walk outside.
Feel the grass.
Stand barefoot on the earth.
Put your feet in the sand at the beach (my favorite).

Anything that reconnects you to your body and the present moment is medicine.

4. The “Yoga Vagal Hack” (Seated Cat-Cow)

Slow, smooth movement with breath increases vagal tone and calms the sympathetic (fight-or-flight) response.

Here’s how:

• Sit tall with fingertips on your knees.

• Inhale: slide your hands toward your hips, open your chest, lift your gaze.

• Exhale: slide hands toward your knees, round your back, chin to chest.

• Repeat 4–6 times.

This brings instant grounding and regulation.

A Few Takeaways

✨ Most energy vampires aren’t doing it on purpose.
They simply don’t have the awareness.

✨ Protecting your energy is a practice.
Not a one-time fix.
These tools get easier the more you use them.

✨ Your energy is precious.
Treat it that way.

Remember…
You are worthy of your own care and attention.

Much love,
Theresa 💗