How I Learned That Self-Care Isn’t a Luxury — It’s a Lifeline

If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at the word self-care, you’re not alone. We’ve been conditioned to believe it’s indulgent — something you get to after everyone else’s needs are met. But here’s the truth: if you’re not taking care of yourself, you can’t show up for anyone else from a healthy, grounded place.

It’s like driving a car on empty and being surprised when you run out of gas, or trying to help someone on an airplane put their mask on before yours — quickly, you’ll pass out.

So why does self-care even matter? Because you matter. And because the people who love you deserve the version of you who feels whole, rested, and alive — not just the one holding it all together.

The Old Belief: “Self-Care Is Selfish”

For so many of us, that message was ingrained early: be nice, be quiet, don’t rock the boat. Keep the peace — even if it costs you your own.

I used to live by that script. I thought being a good wife, mother, and friend meant saying yes, staying busy, and smoothing everything over. But all that “keeping it together” came at a cost — my own well-being.

Eventually, I had to ask myself: Is this still my truth?

The answer was no. And maybe it’s no for you, too.

Self-Care Is an Ecosystem

When I talk about self-care, I’m not just talking about bubble baths or spa days. It’s a full ecosystem — physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and even financial.

You don’t have to do it all at once. You just start somewhere. Each small act of care feeds the whole system.

And the best place to begin? Your relationship with yourself.

Ask yourself: What do I need right now to feel more like me? Sometimes that one question can shift everything.

My First Step: Saying Yes to Myself

About ten years ago, I realized I was completely burned out. I was anxious all the time, waking up at 2 or 3 a.m. with racing thoughts, and feeling disconnected from everything that used to bring me joy.

So, for the first time in my life, I decided to do something just for me: I signed up for a weekend retreat.

I didn’t know anyone going. I didn’t even know the life coach leading it. But something inside me said, go.

That retreat changed everything. I came home with two big realizations:

1. Everything I need is already within me.
I didn’t have to keep searching outside myself for validation or love.

2. I had no idea what I actually enjoyed anymore.
I hadn’t stopped long enough to ask myself who I was or what I wanted.

That retreat cracked something open. I realized I didn’t need a total life overhaul — I just needed to take one intentional step toward myself.

So, my next step was joining the YMCA and committing to three yoga classes a week. I put it on my calendar, treated it like a non-negotiable meeting with myself, and showed up —even when life got busy.

That simple act of keeping a promise to myself shifted everything.

Start Where You Are

You don’t need a big retreat to begin your self-care journey. You just need one small step — one decision that says, I matter.

Maybe that’s going for a walk without your phone, taking five deep breaths before saying yes to another commitment, or giving yourself permission to rest.

It’s not selfish — it’s sustainable. And the ripple effect it creates in your relationships, your energy, and your peace is powerful.

Reflection Prompt

Take a moment to ask yourself:

What’s one small step I can take this week to care for myself — not out of guilt, but out of love?

Write it down. Put it on your calendar. And honor it like you would any other commitment.

Remember, you’re worthy of your own care and attention.

— Theresa